How to Eat an Apple. By Mark Vincent

Apples are delightful, but the way I chose to eat an apple is very, very frightful.

They are sweet, they are delicious, and my mother says she is glad I am eating something quite nutritious.

I start with one round apple, my goal; to turn it into Snapple.

I bite off little bites, sucking out the juices, spitting out the peel and flesh for which I have no uses.

I leave a little trail of bits and pieces, my mother says, my mess it never ceases.

When I am finished, sticky I've become, from the top of my head, right down to my bum.