The Verdict is In.

June 16, 2008 was my date with destiny or at least the city court system in Provo. 4:00p.m. was the time I was destined to meet the judge, the prosecutor and Officer 3178. For the record Officer 3178 does have a name, Todd Breckenridge.

I arrived, stripped off my jewelry for security, had my purse inspected. There was a big TV screen with a calendar of the days cases, and there in bold for everyone to see was “Provo City, vs. Vincent, Tiffany Hales.” I told you I was a criminal, because only true criminals get to be listed in BOLD letters on the court’s calendar. I was half counting on Officer 3178 to skip my important court proceeding, hence increasing my chances of a dismissal, but no such luck.

I waited patiently in the court room for my trial to begin. Enter the prosecutor, questioning if I am Tiffany Vincent. I admit to who I am. Then in disbelief he says “You are here on a registration ticket? “ I politely nod. He then asks why I am fighting it, and I say that I want the ticket dismissed. He asks if my registration was expired. Clearly he was sick the day they discussed the 5th amendment, which is the right against self incrimination, in constitutional law. I told him I was not going to answer his question. Not quite what he expected. He then asked “Do you want to go to trial?” I responded “Yes.” He shook his head in disbelief and said “What is your defense?” I said “I am not going to share with you my defense, you will have to wait until trial.” A look of concern crossed his face and he said “ok” and went to find the statute book to look up the elements of the crime. I guess he does not see a lot of expired registration tickets going to trial. I continued to sit in the court room like a Cheshire Cat with a big old grin on my face, while he and Officer 3178 scrambled to pull their case together. I have to admit I felt a little nostalgic for my days as a prosecutor, while I sat in the court room. There really is nothing quite like traffic court with pro-se litigants. Shooting ducks in a bucket it is.

Finally the judge arrives and we all rise. The judge invites me to sit at the defendant table. Again I truly am a criminal. As the judge is explaining the court proceedings I being to notice that my heart is beating faster, my hands are shaking, and quite frankly I am nervous, an emotion I did not expect. Officer 3178 takes the stand and begins his testimony. He notes that he made two clerical errors on the ticket, he had the date as 05-87-08, and the location as University Ave, when it was actually Canyon Road. Also when questioned by the prosecutor as to whether or not the person he stopped is in the court room, the officer looks at me and says he is not sure. I am really foaming at the mouth now. I get my turn to cross-examine, and ask Officer 3178 if he recalls our conversation when he gave me the ticket. The prosecutor objects on relevance, and I counter back it goes to Officer 3178’s recollection of the incident and credibility. By now the prosecutor realizes that I am not the average pro-se defendant, because I have a complete understanding of the rules of evidence. The judge over-rules the objection, and the officer DENIES telling me that the ticket would be dismissed if I corrected the registration within 14 days. I have no more questions.

The City rests its case and the judge turns to me. I request to make a motion to dismiss. I have a brilliant legal argument that the charging document is insufficient to prove the case because it has an incorrect date and location, and although Officer 3178 has clarified those points, the charging document is inaccurate and hence the case should be dismissed. The Judge turns to the prosecutor who has clearly been caught off guard. The prosecutor says all he has to do is prove it happened in the City of Provo, and that the document can be amended. The judge says “Well you did not do that.” By now I know I am home free, dismissal will be granted, criminal no more, I will be cleared. Then the hammer falls, the judge denies my motion. All the grin of Cheshire Cat leaves my face, and I know my fate, I will be convicted. The judge asks if I would like to testify, which I know will just prolong the agony. I rest and the judge finds me guilty of the crime of driving on an expired registration, and proceeds with sentencing. I am fined $25 for my acts against the State and order to pay in full immediately.

I left the courtroom, paid my fine, and now I have a tarnish that will forever live with my name. I am a convict for having an expired registration, all courtesy of Officer 3178. I will be sending him a Christmas card.