Happy Birthday Katie!

Katie turned One today! Its hard to believe its been a year, its also hard to believe how much she has grown and changed in a year. Here are a few of her thoughts on the day.

"It's bright, its pretty"

"Wow look at my haul, Lauren and Mark will be jealous."

"And they didn't think I knew how to unwrap a present!"

"Its good to have an older sister to teach you how to play with your toys."

"I really liked all the books I received."

"I got this really cool quiet book from Arianne. Can't wait until church, finally something to do."

"Daddy, he is a useful guy."

"Look at my cool cupcakes."

"I'm not sure I understand, but I am getting lots of attention, and they are singing some weird song"
"Frosting and sprinkles are great!"

"The most efficient way to eat is to jam it all in at once."

"That was delicious."

The Dance

I firmly believe that the true test of parental love is shown by attending a dance recital, a piano recital, any sports activity, or school function. It is two hours of sheer agony for 10 minutes of joy. Couple that with taking siblings to said function and it is the ultimate test of parental commitment.

Thursday night Lauren had a dance recital. There were 12 numbers and she preformed in two. Hence the excruciating pain of having to watch 10 dance numbers that did not involve my child. Although I do have to say the dance recitals are far more tolerable for me than piano recitals. Rick has the opposite problem.

I arrived early in order to get a good seat that was stroller accessible because I had Katie and Mark with me. Rick was joining us later. Apparently other parents had the same idea about arriving early, but not so much for stroller placement as for video camera, complete with tri-pod, placement. (Note: I do have a video camera, its never been out of the box, and even if I did get it out of the box then I would have to learn to use the dang thing. There’s a special place in heaven for mother like me.)

Upon arrival Mark and Katie began to observe. The dancing girls were practicing on the stage, which captured Katie’s attention, and two boys around the age of six were running around chasing each other which captured Mark’s attention. He told me they were being “naughty.” I agreed. Then Mark proceeded to try to stop the two boys from running and chasing by saying “Hey boys your being naughty don’t do that.” He was given the stink eye by the boys and ignored, which only egged him on more, and made him yell at them louder. Meanwhile Katie demanded to be let out of her stroller, and promptly grabbed the program, violently whipping it out of my right hand, into her waiting paws, and in the process the paper made contact with my lips resulting in a paper cut. FYI a paper cut on the lips HURTS.

Rick arrived and the recital started. We tagged teamed for the next hour between the two kids, while trying to watch Lauren for the brief period she was on stage. The struggle was worth every minute of enjoyment I received from watching Lauren. She was outstanding. In the past Lauren has not been real confident in her dance. During this recital she danced like a seasoned veteran. She smiled, followed the music, and had fun. We are thinking about ballroom dance next year!

The Third Child

It must be tough to be a third child. I will never know, I was the oldest and received all the attention, praise and glory. By the time my parents got to my sisters Arianne and Ciarran, who are children number three and four respectively, there was nothing left, I had sucked it all out. They are still bitter about this. Well as Katie’s first birthday approached I set out to find her a present. Now keep in mind Katie has divorced all her current toys, and is seeking only to play with Mark’s toys, Lauren’s toys, or anything she can pull out of a cupboard, drawer, or the refrigerator. As I cruised the isles at Toys R Us in search of the perfect birthday present, nothing was jumping out at me saying “I’m perfect” for your one year old daughter. They were either toys with noise, which I oppose on moral grounds, toys that were completely boring, toys that had no purpose, or toys we already owned or owned a version quiet similar.

I begin to ponder, would it really be that bad to not purchase a birthday present for Katie? She is only one, she will never know. I began to fantasize that I could place baby toys in front of her, stage it with a little wrapping paper, take a picture and she will grow up believing she was showered with gifts. It would save me money, save me having to wrap anything, and save me a useless toy that she would never play with. Could I really get away with it, would Lauren nark me off when Katie was older? (The answer to that question is obvious, Lauren is a first born, it is her job to right injustice.)

Then I rounded the corner of the isle and saw it, a plastic shopping cart. I was perfect. Just last Sunday I saw Katie pushing a box on the floor walking behind it. Oh the fun she would have with a cart, and she could put stuff in it to boot. I purchased my cart, and set off to home to wrap and enjoy the bewilderment on my child face as she tried to figure out what to do with a wrapped present on her first birthday. Lucky for her she has two older siblings who are well versed in birthday presents to guide her along, which is why it is good to be a third child.

Officer 3178

Last Thursday was a crazy morning. Lauren had to be to school by 8:50 a.m., Mark had to be to pre-school by 8:55 a.m. and I had to be at the church by 9:00 a.m. for our tour of the Humanitarian Center, which Katie was accompanying me on. We marched out the door at 8:45 a.m. and I was feeling quite proud of myself for getting all three kids bathed, dressed and fed, plus myself looking socially acceptable, and the kids buckled securely in the car at our scheduled departure time. I had even remembered Lauren’s homework, Mark’s homework, Katie’s bottle and diaper, and the directions to the Humanitarian Center. Plus a diet coke to boot. I proceeded cautiously down the hill, because the Provo Police Department likes to prey upon unsuspecting mothers in a panic to get their children to school. (How do I know this? I have been their unwilling victim.) As I rounded the corner on the hill I saw the familiar police car parked waiting for a victim. Never fear I would not be their victim today. Lauren successful dropped off at school, check. I proceeded from the school down Canyon road, the road perpendicular to where I had seen the police officer, who by the way was still fishing for unsuspecting mothers. A short distance from the school was a lighted school crosswalk. The cross walk was being manned by a Provo City Parking officer, however a Provo City Police officer was parked right next to the parking officer. I slowed cautiously through the school zone, to well below the posted limit of 2o mph. I would not be a victim today. Down Canyon road I traveled for about a quarter of a mile until I turned on the residential street leading to Mark’s pre-school. As I approached Mark’s pre-school, I happened to glance in my rear view mirror and saw the oh so familiar flash of red and blue lights. I stopped two houses away from Mark’s preschool. What in the world had I done? I knew I was not speeding, there was no one in the cross walk when I entered it, I had used my turn signal, why was I being harassed?

Officer 3178 approached my car and asked if I knew why he stopped me. Years of prosecuting has lead me to know that in any given traffic stop these are the first words out of the officer’s mouth. I said “I have no idea.” He asked me if I knew my registration was expired. Now technically I knew it was expired, but I decided to play the dumb blonde card, and said “no.” I felt no guilt about this because my registration was only expired by FIVE weeks, 38 days to be exact. I don’t consider, and neither should any reasonable law enforcement officer consider, a registration to be expired until it hits the 60 day mark. Furthermore if said reasonable law enforcement officer is going to stop a vehicle for an expired registration within 60 days after its expiration it should result in a warning, not a citation. Apparently the Provo City and I do not see eye to eye on this unwritten rule. Officer 3178 then says to me “Well your husband probably didn’t realize it was expired and re-new it for you.” Now I had several choices in how to respond to this comment, I could

1. Continue to play the dumb blonde card

2. Tell the officer that I was incredibly insulted that he would assume I was not capable of renewing my own registration.

3. Start screaming and yelling that he was a fascist, sexist, pig who needed to go track down real criminals and quit preying on mothers who are driving the speed limit, stopping at cross walks, secure their children safely in vehicles and simply did not have time to re-new a registration, because have you seen my to do list for the last 38 days? Talk to me on June 1, when it has been 60 days, then I will see what I can do about it.

I opted for #1. Going to jail for obstruction of justice just had not been penciled in for the day. I continued to sit in my car, while he sat in his. I assumed that he was probably checking my license, etc, and would be back with a warning. Meanwhile EVERY parent who has a child that attends Mark’s pre-school drove by, and stared wide-eyed at the still flashing lights Officer 3178's car, wondering what heinous act I had done to receive his wrath. I wanted to get out of my car and yell as they were dropping off their children “I am not a criminal, I am not a traffic violator, my registration is expired, and he won’t cut me a break.” After suffering the humiliation of EVERY parent seeing me at the hands of Officer 3178, he returned with a ticket, and informed me I had 14 days to re-new the registration on my vehicle if I wanted the ticket dismissed, plus once I got the registration renewed I had to go to the courthouse and show my renewed registration in order to get the ticket dismissed. I could not believe it. I really wanted to say to him “Are you kidding, you are giving me a ticket for a registration that is expired by 38 days! Then you want me to correct it in the next 14 days and make a trip to the courthouse? Have you seen what my May calendar looks like? Are you sure we can’t talk about this in June? “ Instead I opted for “Thank you, I will take care of this.”

NOTE TO SELF: Add emissions test, safety inspection, registration renewal, and trip to court house on to do list in the next 14 days. Remove sleep from said list.

Bugged by Bugs.

Recently Lauren came home from school and announced that her first grade teacher told the class that more people die from bees than from sharks. Now I can appreciate the teacher trying to calm the student’s fears about killer shark attacks, but has she looked at a map lately? We live in Utah, it is a land locked state. The likelihood of coming into contact with killer sharks is minimal, baring California and Nevada falling into the Pacific Ocean. Now the likelihood of coming into contact with bees, wasps, or any other insect with wings, that is known to frighten young children is significant. So as soon as Lauren told me this, knowing her healthy sense of self preservation, I knew panic attacks would soon ensue at the site of any flying bug. I wanted to throttle the teacher.

A day or two later at breakfast Lauren saw a moth on the ceiling, and wanted to know if it would bite her. I assured her that it would not, but she cautiously watched the moth the entire time she ate. Then later she and Mark decided to scream and yell at the top of their lungs while inside the house. I instructed them to go outside and told Lauren that when school was out this summer if she and Mark continued to make all sorts of commotion in the house I was going to send both of them outside and lock the door. She broke down crying and said “You can’t do that there are bees outside.” My point exactly.

Ssssssssssssss........

That sound you hear is the sound of air escaping from my head. I was quite blonde last week. The last time I was this blonde was the years 1990-1994, which comprised the three years of law school and the first year out of law school. During that time period I managed to have four car accidents, all of which were rear end accidents, where I rear ended another car. The accidents were a symbolic commentary on my life at that time. Well now you can chalk that up to five rear end accidents. I will let you be the judge of whether or not my latest accident is a symbolic commentary on my life.

On Tuesday I was driving home from work in my 7 month old new car. Lets just say it is black and German made. If I gave you any more details it would prejudice you against any sympathy for me. I was driving down I-15 around 53rd South. I was in the fast lane because of course I am in my black. German made car. Next to me on the right is one of those trucks that carries new cars to car dealerships. It was full of Toyotas. On the truck was a Toyota Sequoia, with the new body style. I was quite intrigued because last year we had a Toyota Sequoia which we got rid of to get the black German made car. Rick loved the Sequoia but I was never really a fan because it was too big for me. What caught my attention about the new style was that it seemed smaller. While my attention was drawn to the distracting new cars next to me, the cars moving in front of me, ceased moving. I looked up and when I realized what was occurring I immediately slammed on my breaks with an “Oh ****” and seriously questioned if I was going to stop in time to avoid colliding with the small SUV in front of me. Bad news: Did not stop in time to avoid contact with small SUV. Good news: It was a minor bump, such that there was no damage to the car in front of me, in fact he did not even stop or pull over. My black, German made car, not so lucky. The hood of my car slid under the spare tire of the small SUV, leaving a dent in my hood. I was crushed, emotionally and physically. I LOVE my black, German made car more than any other car I have ever owned. Plus it was an anniversary present from Rick for 10 years of marriage.

The chink in my armor.

Now here is the tricky part, I have not exactly told Rick about unfortunate new chink in the armor of my black, German made car. Interesting enough it just didn’t seem to come up in conversation. So I am taking suggestions about how to break the news. Here is a list of options:

1. Not tell him, and explain my cars absence when it gets fixed as scheduled maintenance.
2. Let him read it on the blog. (This would tell me how often he reads our blog!)
3. Put a note in his lunch box.
4. During a dinner time conversation say “I wrecked my car, and can you pass the Ketchup?”
5. Send him either an email or text message.
6. Cry hysterically and beg for forgiveness.

Please feel free to comment and add any suggestion to my list!

For the Love of Mommy.

This is a picture of Mark’s blanket, or as he likes to call it his “wittle blanky.” Once upon a time there was down feathers inside this blanket, but years of love and many washings have resulted in few feathers left, and it is mostly two pieces of fabric, with lots of dog hair from being drug around the house. Mark has slept with this blanket since he was born, with the exception of last night. In honor of Mother’s Day Mark decided that I should sleep with his blanket. He carefully placed it in my bed and said “Mommy you sleep with my blanket tonight.” The next morning he crawled into my bed to determine if I had actually followed through on my promise to sleep with his blanket. He happily found his blanket and declared “Mommy my blanket smell just like you.” Now I don’t know if that is good, but apparently to my four year old son it is delightful.

Finally I can’t complete a Sunday post without including what occurred at church today. In Sacrament meeting today the Primary children sang a medley of Mother’s Day songs. Mark was front and center with Lauren standing right next to him. While the children were gathering, he was placing his finger to his lips saying “Shhhhhh…..” then he announced “Shhhh…, listen to the teacher.” His shushing of the children continued on, quite loudly I might add, all through the song medley, despite Lauren’s efforts to remove his finger from the front of his mouth and quiet him down. Not a word of the song was uttered from his mouth, but lots of “Shhhhhhing” was. I was sitting about 2/3 of the way back in the chapel and could clearly hear him. After Sacrament was over I had more than one person comment on Mark’s conduct. I explained he is the third counselor in Primary responsible for reverence. He takes his job seriously.

My Mothers Day Craft.

I decided to be crafty for Mothers Day this year, and make gifts for Linda and Loretta. Truth be told I needed a craft project because its been too long since I have gotten to work on a fun project. I bought these 8x8 folded chip boards from Oriental Trading Company. As you can see the first photo is the before, and the remaining photographs are the after.

One side is Spring, and the other side is Fall. I used picture corners so the pictures could be interchangeable.

They sit very nicely on top of a mantel or entertainment center. They turned out so cute I am going to have to make one for myself.

Here are some up close pictures of the individual sections.

Don't you wish you got to open this on Mothers Day!

I've been adopted.

Jake and I have a mutual understanding, we tolerate each other. I am accommodating to him and he tries not be too annoying to me. Linda is truly is first love, followed by Jeff, Matt & Courtney, who all happen to be in Arizona for the weekend. Now they have left him in our care before, however this time is different. Jake has decided to adopt me. I think he figures with the amount of time Linda has been gone that perhaps she is not returning, and he had better make peace with me. I feel so honored. He is treating me just like Linda. When it is “happy hotdog” time I get no mercy until he is fed. He begs for treats and jumps with delight when the treat is forthcoming. In and out, in and out, all day long. I have however trained Mark to assume the duty of letting Jake in and out. Jake follows me around the house and sleep just outside my bedroom. He probably would like an invite in, and he would really like an invite to sleep on the bed, however I am afraid I have not developed the unconditional love for Jake that Linda has for him. But a few more days of being adored by him because I am taking care of him might just do the trick.

Oww it hurts!

Mark has learned the skinned knees when your four years old hurt as much as skinned knees when your three years old.

But Sesame Street Bandaids solve all that ails.

There was much sadness in the land.

There was much sadness on the Island of Sodor today, for today Mark was not named honorary conductor of Thomas the Tank Engine. Did I not convey my sons’ love of Thomas. Do you know any child more obsessed with Thomas than my son? The winners did not even have poems. I did make a contingency plan should Mark not be selected, I told him the prize for the contest was to ride on a big Thomas train, because regardless of whether or not we won, we were planning on purchasing tickets. So Mark thinks he won, I am bitter.

The Island of Sodor

On another Mark note: I know that many of you enjoy the long running series I have on this blog of writing about what Mark says, because lets face it, the things that come out of his mouth leave me at a loss for words.

Here is what he said on Thursday:

He came home from pre-school and I asked him what he did at school. He responded “I made you a card.” I asked if it was for pre-school graduation and he told me it was for Mother’s Day. I asked if he was going to give me the card now or wait until Sunday. He said he would give it to me Sunday and told me “It’s a really big responsible job.”

Later in the afternoon Grandpa and Courtney left for Arizona to bring Linda and Matt home. I told Mark that Grandpa was going to bring Grandma home. He asked “Will I wake up tomorrow and find Grandma combing her hair.” I said “Not exactly, it’s going to be several days.” He misses Grandma.

Finally in the evening, he took a plastic container and dumped his cup of water into the container. I asked Mark what he was doing and was told “I got a container full of water. I’ll take it outside and it will evaporate into the clouds.” This coming from the kid who can’t hold a pencil correctly, let alone color in the lines.

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

For our May Enrichment we decided to focus on service, with the theme being "Service at home and Abroad." Since Enrichment is only held quarterly now, whenever we plan an Enrichment, we plan several smaller activities that go along with the theme. Additionally which ever member of the presidency is teaching that month teaches on the theme. (It happened to be my turn, so I cheated and did a small introduction and then showed two church videos, one on the welfare system, and one on the humanitarian center. I feel kind of guilty because my lesson was so easy, but they were videos the sisters had not seen and everyone was crying at the end, they were really good videos)

One of our smaller activities was going to the Humanitarian Center for a tour. On Thursday morning we met at the church and carpooled up to SLC for our scheduled tour. Sister Missionaries greeted us and conducted our tour.

If you have ever wondered where all the clothing goes that you donate to the DI, well I can tell you. About 12% is kept by the local DI that you donate it to, the remaining 88% is bundled into 1000 pound bundles and sent to the Humanitarian Center in SLC. The picture show the 1000 bundles. Once it reaches the Humanitarian Center is is sorted. A worker sorts one bundle at a time. The worker is surrounded by large plastic trash cans with wheels, and sorts the clothing into the trashcans. The worker first looks for quality, and anything is is torn, soiled, or missing buttons etc, is discarded. But not really discarded, it is put in a rag pile and sold to rag brokers, who then in turn sell the clothing to companies who make rugs and other materials. The money the Humanitarian Center receives from selling the rags is used to purchase wool blankets that are then distributed in areas where disasters have occurred.

Once the clothing is determined to be of good quality it is then sorted by male, female, adult, and child, and put into 100 pound bundles for easier distribution.

These are the modules that go out to orphanages or medical supplies for disaster relief. They contain all the necessities such as diapers, clothing, toys, blankets or bandages, syringes, medical tape, gauze etc, that individuals in those circumstances would need.

This is the volunteer room where volunteers can quilt, assemble school kits, personal hygiene kits, or newborn kits. When we were there they had about 10 quilts set up on frames and the volunteers, including men, were tying quilts. On a personal note, I think when I am in a different stage of life being a volunteer at the humanitarian center would be AWESOME. These ladies were having a ton of fun!

This is our invitation for our Enrichment next week. The picture is of my Relief Society President. It is a post card that we put in everyone mail boxes. I have a super talented Enrichment Committee member who made this. We are going to quilt 4 quilts to be given to the Humanitarian Center, and make 25 fleece blankets that we are going to give to the police department for officers to keep in their cars and give to children in crisis.

I've Been Tagged!

A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.B: Each player answers the questions about themselvesC: At the end of the post, the player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was 30 and Rick and I had been married for nine months, doing things that we now don’t get to do because we have THREE children! Hummm…that’s probably what caused the three children. We were living in Nampa, or more preciously I was living in Nampa and Rick was commuting there on the weekends from Utah. I was throwing the thugs of Nampa in jail.

2. What was on my to-do list for today?
Go to Provo humanitarian center to pick up fabric for quilts for RS Enrichment next week. Go pick up batting and yarn for quilts at fabric store. Purchase short sleeve t- shirts for Lauren for summer. Deliver invitations for Enrichment. Deliver fabric, batting, and yarn to sisters who signed up to help with quilt preparation. BLOG. Fix dinner. Review last draft of legal decisions from yesterday’s board. Do a preliminary review of next week’s Board cases. Take Lauren to piano. Watch Good Things Utah to see if Mark is a qualifier for the Thomas contest. Call stove guy to see if he is ever going to fix my cook-top. Vacuum rug under kitchen table, because odd things stick to my feet when I walk on it. Look at map to determine how to get to SLC humanitarian center for tour with RS tomorrow. Remind Lauren to do her homework. Fix lunch for Lauren & Rick for Thursday.

3. What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire?
Hire myself a wife/personal assistant/cook/housekeeper. Purchase the horrible house across the street with a great view, tear down the house and build a new one in its place for Jeff & Linda. Move into house with Jeff & Linda while my house gets remodeled, specifically, the kitchen, all bathrooms, laundry room, electrical system, and plumbing. Of course new paint and carpet. Let Rick build the cabin of his dreams. Set up trust funds for family members, start a non-profit charitable foundation.

4. 3 Bad habits...
-Getting on my kids about messes, instead of enjoying and playing with them.
-Eating way too much sugar and not exercising enough
- Not reading my scriptures

5. Places I have lived.....
Nampa, ID, Washington DC, Provo, UT

6. Places I have worked...
Pioneer Seed Company, Safeway, Farmer Jacks, IGA, Senator Steve Symms, BYU, Idaho Labor Department, Hamilton Michaelson & Hilty, Utah Valley State College, Utah Department of Workforce Services, My Home.

7. 3 Things people don't know about me...
- I snore very loudly at times
-I want to learn to quilt when I am old.
-I love playing with Thomas trains nearly as much as Mark does. Making cool track is the greatest!

I would like to tag; Ciarran, Lindsey & Krista.

All was quiet on the family room front, I should have known…..

On Monday afternoon I put Katie down for a nap, and put PBS Kids on for Mark to watch while I was at the computer writing decisions for work. It was very quiet in the family room, but that did not seem too unusual because Thomas and Friends was on. When Thomas is on Mark is transfixed to the television. It is one of the few times, aside from sleep, that he is not in perpetual motion.

After about 45 minutes I went from the office to the family room. Now keep in mind its only about 12 feet from the office to the family room and I could hear the sound of Thomas the entire time I was working, least you think I was ignoring my child. When I entered the family room the first thing I noticed was the large jar of Jiff peanut butter on the coffee table. The second thing I noticed was peanut butter smeared all over my son. The third thing I heard was the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Upon closer inspection he has tried to wash the peanut butter off in the bathroom sink because the sink was covered in peanut butter. Fourth thing I noticed, peanut butter smeared all over the coffee table. I began the process of cleaning up Mark, and the entire peanut butter covered house.

Smeared peanut butter jar

You can see where little fingers have been placed into the jar to scoop out delicious peanut butter for consumption.

The Guilty Face.

Tanked economy = job security

I have one of those rare jobs where my job security is directly dependant on a lousy economy. When the economy goes south the unemployment rate goes up, and since I do appellate level unemployment cases, the higher the rate, the more cases I handle. When I first started at the Department in 2002, the women who previously held my job, was doing twenty cases a week and usually every month to six weeks she would do 30 in one week. I have enjoyed the strong economy over the course of the last 18 months averaging about 10 cases a week. This week, although I only have 10 cases, you can see by the girth of my binder they are LARGE cases. I get my cases every Tuesday and have one week to read through all the material and be prepared for our meeting the following Tuesday.

My binder measures 2 ¼ inches thick! And that is with double sided photocopies. I have had to use my time very judiciously this week in order to get through my case load. Don’t feel too sorry for me, they pay by the hour.