Orally Fixated

We are still enjoying the never ending game of "What does Katie have in her mouth?" Here are a few examples of recent finds. The top silver knobs are off of the drawers containing my scrapbooking material. Katie was most excited to discover the drawers this week and the fun contents, including stickers, paper punches, and ribbon. She really like unrolling ribbon and winding it around herself. This provided several minutes of entertainment.

The pink foil object is from a piece of Easter candy, which of course was fished out of the trash can. She secretly fished out this out and kept it in her mouth for about an hour while sucking on her pacifier. Grandpa discovered this object.

The blue skirt is from a Polly Pocket. Lauren had the Polly Pockets out on Saturday, and Katie thought the dolls and all their little pieces were great fun. I am actually surprised she did not end up with more of the pieces parts in her mouth.

The paperclip she found attached to a Thomas train. Mark likes to take paperclips and attach them to the magnets on his Thomas train. Try as I might to locate and remove all the paperclips he still manages to find paperclips and attach them to his trains, and then Katie finds them. I swear that Mark must have a secret stash of paperclips that I am unaware of.

The wooden knob was found on Thomas track. Katie pulled it off. And of course there is the the whirlly thing from a tree that got tracked inside the house for Katie to find and taste.

On note in the World of Mark today, after church he was sitting at the counter eating lunch. He had water in his cup and easy access to the sink from where he was sitting. Well water is an attractive nuisance and the next thing I knew Mark had spilled his water and was getting water from the faucet everywhere. I started to clean it up and Mark asked if I was happy. I told him I was not happy about having to clean up his mess. He then said "Mommy can I give you kisses?" How could I refuse an offer like that. After giving me kisses he said "Mommy are you happy now?'' Nothing like the fine art of manipulation from a four year old.

The Contest

Over Memorial Day weekend Heber Valley Railroad brings in Thomas the Tank Engine for rides and stories. Heber Valley Railroad in conjunction with a locally produced daytime talk show called Good Things Utah is offering a contest to be an honorary conductor of the Thomas the Tank Engine train. Well as you can imagine there is no little boy who has a love of Thomas more than Mark, so I knew I had to enter the contest because it would send him over the moon to get to be the conductor, shout “All aboard” and pull the train whistle.

The rules of the contest were quite simple, send a picture of your child, preferably dressed up as a conductor, along with a paragraph or two as to why your child should be selected, via email to Heber Valley Railroad. Starting on Monday May 5, through Thursday May 8, a qualifier will be announced on Good Things Utah. Out of those four qualifiers one will be chosen as the honorary conductor, and will appear on Good Things Utah on Friday to meet Sir Topham Hatt. Here is my photograph and entry, wish me luck!

All aboard!!!

At little boy of four I am,
I play with Thomas whenever I can.
In the morning the track I greet,
with shouts of joy, playing with Thomas can’t be beat.
By afternoon shunting has begun,
with freight cars giggling and having fun.
In the evening the action picks up steam,
with Sir Topham Hatt telling trains, “Don’t be mean.”
At bedtime a Thomas story is so keen,
so thoughts of Thomas I will dream.
- Mark Vincent

My son Mark plays with Thomas morning, noon and night.
Being chosen as a conductor would be really out of sight.
All aboard he would yell, while pulling on the whistling bell.
Wave and cheer to the crowd he would, he’d drive the train if he could.
Please pick Mark, it would make his day, his face would shine, just like a sun ray.
- Tiffany Vincent

Before & After

Friday night is Lauren’s stay up late night. What that means is that Lauren gets to stay up late with mommy and have girl bonding, which usually involves either a craft project, game or painting our nails. It always involves a bowl of cold cereal and the Disney channel. This week both Lauren and mommy were in need of a pedicure. We wanted our toes to look like spring, even though the weather is far from feeling spring like.

Lauren's toes before.

Lauren and mommy's toes after.

We are sooo ready for sandals, except for of course the pastie white legs!

Spray & Wash

Mark recently read on the internet about germs and discovered that in any home or office the item containing the most germs is the telephone. Mark, being a man of action, decided to take matters into his own hands and ensure that our telephones were germ free. After all we would not want anyone getting sick from those nasty phone germs. He began with the telephone in the laundry room/sewing room. He decided that a bottle of Spray & Wash would be good for cleaning the telephone. I went into the laundry room/sewing room to grab some paper for a Mother’s Day scrapbooking project I was working on, only to discover that Mark had sprayed about a ¼ of a bottle of Spray & Wash all over the telephone, telephone books, wall, and window blinds. He wanted to make sure all germs on the phone and surrounding the phone were eradicated. As you can see from the picture, the phone is dripping in Spray & Wash.

The first words out of his mouth when he saw me were “Sorry mommy.” Do you laugh or cry in a situation like this? He had a towel in his hand and was trying to clean up the mess. I told him it was ok, but he should not spray Spray & Wash on the telephone because it was only for clothes. The phone cleaned up nicely and looks sparkly clean, plus as an added bonus my laundry room/sewing room smells spring time fresh.

UPDATE: Telephone is completely freaking out. It mysteriously turns its self on, specifically the speaker part of the phone, until you hear the familiar beeping of a telephone off the hook. Finally I had to disconnect the telephone from the jack. So while my phone may be sparkling clean and smell good, it does not work.

Happy Birthday Mark!

Mark is Four! Its hard to believe its been 4 years since Mark was born. He had a rough start, spending a week in the NICU because he could not breath. Maybe that accounts for his deep smokers voice!

Mark had pre-school on his birthday. This year the teacher asked that no cupcakes be brought for birthdays, because I guess it was making too much of a mess. So the kids, or rather the parents, were instructed that if they wanted to bring something to share for birthdays, to do birthday bags. Mark and I went to the dollar store and picked out the toys and candy to put in his birthday bags to give to his friends. Mark and I put the bags together the day before his birthday, and he was so excited to pass them out to his friends.

All the goodies for Mark's birthday bags.

The completed bags!

Mark came home from school with a cute birthday crown. For his party at home I bought a Thomas table decoration. Mark played with it all afternoon.

Grandma and Grandpa bought Mark a Thomas blanket.

He LOVES the blanket. It might replace his other blanket!

Opening presents.

From mommy and daddy Mark got Thomas trains and track. I know big surprise, but it is what he wanted. The Island of Sodor, aka the office, has now grown, and the new trains are currently making introductions with the old trains, and the track is under construction, with new branch lines being added.

Arianne and Keith sent Mark a Thomas flashlight, that also whistles. Of course he thinks its the bomb. I expect to be seeing light in his room at night and hearing the train whistle.

Grandma and Grandpa Hales gave Mark a tent and sleeping bag to use in the back yard this summer. I don't know who is more excited about it, Mark or Lauren.

My Thomas loving son of course wanted a Thomas cake for his birthday. So I agreed. I found a train cake pan at the party store. It was not a Thomas train but I figured I could decorate it to look like Thomas and his coach Annie. The kids of course wanted to help. Lauren knew I would be decorating the cake in the afternoon after Mark got out of school. She begged me to check her out of school early so she could come home and help. In a moment of weakness I agreed. So at 1:00 p.m. I commenced the decorating of one Thomas cake. I began by making a large batch of white frosting, and putting a base coat of white frosting on the cake. Then I had to make the decorator bags out of parchment paper, and color the remaining white frosting. The kids loved putting the colors into the frosting. Mark was on my right side, Lauren was on my left. Katie was munching away on crackers in her highchair. Mark kept wanting to get really close to the cake. I was sure we were going to have a disaster, and frankly quite surprised we did not. About half way through the process Katie decided that she was tired to being in her highchair so I got her out. BIG MISTAKE. I had the trash can out so I could easily dispose of material, she of course sashayed herself over to the trash can, and promptly found the foil top of one of the food coloring bottles. The next thing I knew Katie was covered in brown food coloring, while at the same time Mark and Lauren were trying to steal licks of colored frosting. By the time I finished and cleaned up it was 3:30 p.m. Two and half hours to decorate a birthday cake.

You may be asking why I just did not purchase a cake at the bakery, and save myself the time and hassle. There is a simple reason, my mother. When I was growing up my mother would bake and decorate the cake of our choice for our birthday. I have wonderful memories of watching my mother decorate my cakes and being amazed at her ability to make this wonderful cake. I learned to decorate cakes by watching my mother. I wanted to create that same memory for Lauren, Mark and Katie.

Blowing out the candles. Mark had a great day.

Phrases commonly heard at slumber parties attended by three year olds

On Tuesday night Mark got to have another slumber party with Savannah, when Krista returned from Arizona, on her way back to Nebraska. Here are a few highlights:

First time out of bed: Mark said: “There is something very mysterious going on.”

Second time out of bed Mark said: “We should go get back in bed.”

Third time out of bed I was tucking Mark back into bed and I asked him if he could be quiet so Savannah could sleep he responded “No I want to be sneaky.”

Fourth time out of bed, Krista was tucking them both in and Mark said “I could talk about trains all night long. One night when we were at a hotel I talked and danced all night long. I swayed and swiveled.”

I am in soooooo much trouble………

I admit defeat.

The white flag is waiving over the top of my house. I admit it I am defeated. I used to have this fantasy that I should sleep at night. I was absent for Parenting 101 on the day sleep deprivation was discussed.

Sunday night/Monday morning:

11:00 p.m. Begin writing legal decisions for Board cases scheduled for Tuesday.

1:00 a.m. Too tired to write another word, in fact not really sure if last paragraph makes sense. Go to bed.

1:20 a.m. Just barely fell asleep, Katie wakes up crying. She is congested despite being given a healthy dose of Benadryl right before bed. I give her the rest of her bottle that she had not finished earlier.

1:40 a.m. Katie & mommy back in bed.

2:43 a.m. Katie is crying again. This time I get her up, suck her nose out, which of course results in her screaming bloody murder, and rock her back to sleep.

3:08 a.m. Katie & mommy back in bed.

4:45 a.m. Katie wakes up crying and congested. I again suck her nose out, with the result of screaming and waking up several members of the household. I feed her a bottle, and rock her back to sleep

5:04 a.m. Katie & mommy back in bed.

6:00 a.m. Mark decides it is time to get up and start the day. He comes bounding into my room with a “Hi mommy, can I watch cartoons in your bed!” At this point I am really groggy, and he can have anything he wants as long as I get sleep! I locate the remote, and, Mark agrees Sesame Street is a good choice. I now know why Sesame Street has a 6:00 a.m. showing, for kids like Mark who decided to start the day early and parents like me who don’t want to start the day.

7:00 a.m. alarm goes off I decided to sleep an extra half hour in hopes of being able to function on Monday.

7:31a.m. Get up and begin the day, realize someday when the kids are gone and I am lonely I will wish for sleepless nights where I get to rock my baby back to sleep and early mornings when I get to snuggle with my boy while watching Sesame Street.

HEADLINE: First grade math stumps attorney/ judge

Canyon Crest Elementary School did not get the memo. My last math class was Math 110 at BYU, aka college algebra. I struggled through the class, spending more time studying for Math 110 than all of my other classes combined that semester. During the entire time I was in the class I kept asking myself “Why do I need this class?” (Other than the obvious that BYU said I had to have it to graduate.) By then I was planning on going to law school and had every intention of hiring an accountant to do any future math, so the concepts in Math 110 seemed like an incredible waste of my time. When the course was over I rejoiced in the fact that my days of studying math were completed. I figured that by the time my kids needed help with math, probably junior high/high school, I could subcontract the work.

Lauren’s teacher assigns a packed of math and Lauren is to do one to two pages every night. Now I consider myself to be a person of intelligence, not that I am genius, but I feel like having a college degree, surviving three years of law school and passing the bar generally demonstrates that I have some smarts. Apparently not when it comes to first grade math. Last Thursday night I became baffled by first grade math.

As you can see from the picture Lauren was to use pattern blocks to make a shape. Apparently there are 6 different ways to make the shape using three different types of shapes. I really could only figure out how to make the shape one way with each different shape. I did not understand if Lauren was to draw each way to make the shape or what exactly she was to do. I decided to admit my ignorance and write the teacher a note indicating that I am not smarter than a first grader.


NOTE TO SELF: Check Utah State Bar licensing requirements to ensure that successful completion of first grade math is not necessary to maintain status as a member in good standing.

Phrase of the Day.

It has long been studied and reported that when families eat dinner together it is a bonding experience and helps children to avoid the pitfalls of negative conduct. The theory is that stimulating dinner conversation regarding the topics of the day will occur and moral conduct can be passed down from parent to child. As a family we strive to have dinner together with the goal of bettering our children. On Sundays we have the added input of Matt and Brian.

Today’s topic of conversation began with Rick relating the story of the teen-ager who was sitting in front of him during Sacrament meeting. This teen-ager was not of our ward, he was visiting for either a mission homecoming or farewell, we had both today. As is typical with most teenagers he had his cell phone out. He proceeded to text during the beginning of Sacrament meeting, very rude, but not uncommon for members of his generation. His father was sitting next to him, and completely oblivious to his son’s conduct. Probably because his son is always texting so it was a normal state of being. The texting continued on through the passing of the Sacrament. Where Rick was sitting he had a full view of the boy’s phone and the texting conversation that was occurring. HE WAS TEXTING VULGER TEXT MESSAGES DURING THE SACRAMENT!!! (Including the worst word ever in the English language that you can use) Rick had to turn away in order to maintain reverence for the Sacrament.

Message learned at dinner table: Daddy will take your cell phone and smash it into 1000 pieces if you engage in similar conduct when you are a teen-ager.

The conversation concluded with a discussion about females who have been on Saturday night live, including Tina Fey. Matt then proceeded to quote a line from last Thursday’s night’s “30 Rock” show when Tina Fey walks into the room where the writers are and says “Suck it monkeys.” Well you can imagine how that phrase sounds to an impressionable three year old, it sound FUN!! Mark proceeded to repeat said phrase, giggling uncontrollably. I fully expect Mark to say “Suck it monkeys” in Primary next week, then my son can be the topic of someone’s dinner conversation.

Message learned at dinner table: Uncle Matt says cool things that make adults really uncomfortable when repeated by three year olds.

Your never too young....

As a young child growing up Barbies were one of my favorite toys. My older cousin Debbie, had quite the collection and I LOVED going to her house to play with her Barbies. I still dream about the "Barbie Friendship" airplane she had, it was the coolest thing ever. Every once in while I will get on ebay and look at ones for sale and still dream.....

My mother made me wait until the ripe old age of 8 to acquire my own Barbies. I still remember the first Barbie I got for my birthday which was the Malibu Barbie, after all it was the 70's. I promptly cut her hair.

I vowed that I would not make my children endure the same torture I endured as a child and Barbies would be allowed at a much younger age. Lauren had her first Barbie by the age of 3. I am sure there is some accompanying curse by my mother for letting a 3 year old play with Barbies.

That curse will be nothing compared to the curse of letting an 11 month old play with Barbies.

On Saturday Katie discovered the Barbie drawer. She was in heaven. The drawer is full of naked Barbies, because the only way Barbies can be stored is naked. They oppose being put away with clothes on. She grabbed a number of Barbies out of the drawer and begin to inspect. She thought she would taste this one. After all there is nothing quite like the taste and feel of Barbie plastic. She was also fascinated with the hair. I had better keep the scissors away otherwise those Barbies might be scalped.

NOTE: The bow was placed in her hair by Lauren. I think it makes her look like a pink mini mouse, or in her case a mighty mouse, because there is very little that is mini about Katie.

In another your never too young moment, Katie fell asleep during Relief Society Presidency meeting. Katie has been attending Presidency meeting since before she was born. I was eight weeks pregnant when I was called as second counselor in the Relief Society, and I am still serving. The Bishop keeps threatening to release us but as of yet he is all smoke and no fire.

Nimble Fingers

Lauren has been taking piano lessons for a little over a year now, and had a recital today. Lauren stood up, introduced herself, and the piece she would be playing and then successfully played her piece. She had a lot of confidence.

When she first began taking lessons the teacher gave her a battery of tests including a pitch test and Lauren is one of the few students the teacher has ever had that has perfect pitch. Clearly she did not get her musical talent from me. And since she did not get her musical talent from me the job of making Lauren practice the piano falls upon Rick. At least he can understand the lesson, it looks like dots and sticks on a page to me.

Still on the Rampage

The rules of parenting state that by the time you reach child number three you really do not care what they put in their mouth as long it is not poisonous. Dirt, no problem, its just minerals, probably good for her. Lint, no problem, it will absorb the dirt. Paper, no problem, she probably needed more fiber! Katie is no exception to this rule.

On Wednesday evening I was in the kitchen cooking, and had pulled the garbage can out because I was chopping tomatoes, onions, avocado, and cilantro, and needed easy access for pieces parts not used. I was making my famous Cowboy Caviar. (Truth be told I stole the recipe from Jenni, but since she lives Arizona, I can happily pass it off as my own in Utah!) Katie sashayed her way over to the garbage can and pulled herself up. The trash was all most full so she was able to reach in and grab stuff out. She started with cilantro remains, and chewed on those for a while with a funny look on her face. Next she moved onto avocado peel, and removed excess avocado remaining in said peel, resulting in a rather green gooey mess. Finally she found tomato tops. She liked the tomato tops the best. She could put it in her mouth and suck on it. All in all she really enjoyed Cowboy Caviar.

Here is what I pulled out of her mouth this week. This is the first week, in I don’t know how long, that I have not pulled out money. I guess we are getting better about not throwing our money around! Yes, the ring is a CTR ring, found in Lauren's room.

On Thursday night Katie discovered the lazy susan that contains the plastic containers. As you can see from the pictures she had a grand time throwing lids and containers around. I am not going to lock this cupboard because it is one of the few things in the kitchen she can get into with minimal damage. I did have to place a lock on the cupboard containing my dishes, because they are breakable and she LOVED to get in the cupboard and pull out bowls and plates. My dish pattern has been discontinued so it was of utmost importance that I protect my dishes from the rampage of one very curious baby.

Can I fit this whole thing in my mouth?

So many lids and containers, so little time.

I like to make a BIG mess!

I been creative

My neighbor and I are hosting a bridal shower on May 3, 2008 and this is the cute invitation we designed together. Actually we saw one similar in Paper Crafts, but we "made it our own." Unfortunately the lighting is not that great, I think I need to ask for a new camera for Mother's Day, hint hint Rick, the invitation is on white card stock, and the background is grey. The lace actually has a small amount of green running through it. The Bride's mother LOVED it. As for the Bride, she just wants to get married!

We had an incident.

On Tuesday night I put Mark to bed later than usual because around dinner time he decided to take a two hour nap and I didn’t wake up until around 8:00 p.m. despite my efforts to arouse him. I knew it would take him a while to go to sleep. About 45 minutes after I put Mark in bed he came downstairs crying. He kept talking about a book that Brian read. I realized he was talking about the book “I am legend.” Rick read it over the weekend and on Sunday gave it to Brian to read. (Big surprise Brian left it at our house) As you can see from the picture the book has a scary cover.


Mark, who never misses a thing, had taken a close look at the cover of the book sometime during the weekend and was apparently thinking about it while trying to go to sleep. He was so upset by the book he was physically shaking when he came downstairs, and kept calling it a bad book, and saying “Daddy bought a bad book at Borders.” Rick and I decided the only way to calm him down was to throw the book away. I had Mark help me put the book in the trash can and I assumed that would be the end of it. Wishful thinking on my part. When I took Mark back to his room I explained to him that on Thursday the trash man would come and take the book and bury it in a big hole. He liked this idea, but kept repeating over and over again that it was a bad book and the trash man needed to bury it in a hole. After about 10 minutes he calmed down and tucked him in bed. Then I heard wailing again. I had to repeat the trash solution several times. Finally in order to get his mind off the book I bribed him with watching a Thomas movie, which did the trick. All day on Wednesday he told everyone we saw that his daddy bought a bad book Borders and the trash man was going to bury the book in a hole. I can only imagine what the neighbors must think……

FYI: Rick says book is depressing, don’t buy it or read it. Movie was not that great either.

Most irrational temper tantrum of the day: When I woke up on Wednesday morning the forecast was rain, and the skies looked threatening. The kids had left a bunch of toys scattered throughout the yard and I thought I had better put them away before it rained. One of the toys was Mark’s big wheel. When I came inside the house he was upset that I had put his big wheel in the shed. I explained to him that it was going to rain and we did not want it to get wet. He proceeded to pitch a fit, as in screaming, yelling and crying, about the rain for the next 10 minutes. He repeatedly said “I don’t want it to rain, make the rain stop, I want it to be sunny.” Note to self: Put learn to control weather on to do list.

I Confess

They say that confession is good for the soul, so here I go, I confess I LOVE the television show “The Hills.” Ok now quit laughing. I know it is a fake reality show about young girls living glamorous lives in Los Angles, and it is utterly absurd that I love this show, but it is a great escape from my mom life. (Not that I don’t love my mom life, but I need to check out of reality, even if it is for 30 minutes every Monday night, or 22 minutes if I have recorded the show on DVR, which is usually how I watch it because at 8:00 p.m. on Monday night I have no peace from the kids.) I imagine myself as Lauren Conrad living in a fancy apartment, having a glamorous job in the fashion industry, wearing the hottest clothes, and going out with friends every night. Ahhh to be 22 again….. Then reality come crashing through my fantasy bubble, and I realize that I am 40 years old, I have three kids so I don’t party every night, I am lucky to wear clean clothes let alone fashionable ones, but I do have a cool house, and a nice job, and when I look into the blue eyes of each of my very cute children I am reminded that I don’t want to be 22 again, being a mom is just fine.