Each day is a gift.

Each day is a gift. This is a saying on my wall right above a picture montage of Lauren eating dirt when she was 18 months old.

Ten years ago today that beautiful creature entered my life. I had no idea that one brief moment in time would change me forever. Nothing before her birth, or since her birth, has had such a dramatic impact on my life. NOTHING. The arrival of Lauren was not only a new chapter in my life, it allowed me to heal and close wounds left from my mother's death. Lauren completed me.

From the beginning Lauren had lessons to teach me. First, timing. Lauren was due on March 5, 2001. Now being the planner that I am, I had carefully timed out her birth. You see I had items on my agenda for the month of February that simply could not be re-scheduled. Arianne was set to get married at the end of April, so Lauren had about a 10 day window of time between February 27, 2001 and March 8, 2001 that her arrival was allotted to. She missed that memo....

In early February 2001 she decided she was done, and the world was ready for her. She grew in two weeks what it should have taken her six weeks to grow. The bun was done, the oven was being turned off. My doctor gave me a choice to be induced either February 14, 2001 or February 15, 2001. I elected to avoid a Valentine baby and chose February 15, 2001, besides it was Linda's 50th birthday, and Lauren's arrival would double as a birthday present.

On to the hospital for our 6a.m. call. As Rick and I were walking in, a women and her husband rushed past us to admitting "claiming" to be having a baby. Apparently the nurses believed her because they rushed her off, and during the few minutes we were in admitting we heard the mother scream and the baby cry.

Now I had these grand plans that while cruising through labor I would watch all 13 hours of the HBO series "From the earth to the moon" which I had video taped in anticipation of giving me something interesting to watch. What NO ONE told me is that while in labor it is a bit difficult to concentrate, even with an epidural. Unfortunately this series required concentration. It was great for Rick, he was totally entertained. I made a note to myself, "next child bring Danielle Steele movies."

It was during labor that I discovered what a high pain threshold I truly had. I had told the nurse when I checked in that as soon as it was possible for me to have an epidural I would like one. I had NO grand illusions of natural child birth. I am all about the DRUGS. Well apparently my instruction must have been filed in the circular file, because after about 6 hours of labor, pit drip included, I decided I could not tolerate the pain any longer and asked the nurse how much longer it would be before I could get an epidural. Her replay "Oh honey, you could have had that a while ago, you have been having strong contractions for quite some time." All I have to say on that matter is it was a good thing she was standing on the OTHER side of the room when she said that......otherwise my title might have changed from criminal prosecutor to criminal defendant.

Awww the epidural. Pain free at last. Then the nausea began. Did I mention my bodies natural reaction to pain of any kind is nausea? Well I will spare you the details, but lets just say every 15 minutes, you could set a clock by me. By 5:00 p.m. my doctor was concerned my labor was not progressing. My cervix was only dilated to a three and had not progressed in three hours. It was looking like a C-section. I was devastated by this news. You have to understand a C-section was NEVER a thought in my mind when it came to child birth. The women in my family, (well me excluded) have these great birthing hips, so I naturally assumed a baby would simply slide right on out. I didn't even know anyone in my family who had a C-section. WE JUST DON'T DO THAT. Apparently my cervix is not exactly where it is supposed to be, which makes it impossible for the baby's head to push down and dilate the cervix. Who knew???

After getting over the initial shock that I would most likely being having a C-section, I resiged to my fate. Now mind you I am still throwing up, or rather dry heaving. Around 6:30 p.m. they wheeled me into the operating room and began to prep me and the baby. Since my epidural has not worn off, no need for a spinal block. (Although I now know from subsequent C-sections, a spinal block is the way to go, because your stomach mussels can't contract, hence no throwing up/dry heaving.) I recall lying on the operating table, buck naked, sick to my stomach, with about 20 people milling around me. I thought to myself "I really should be bothered about this situation, but oddly enough, I really don't care."

I continued to dry heave. Rick and doctor enter, dry heave. The doctor cuts into me, dry heave. The doctor removes Lauren and she begins to cry, dry heave. I see her in the incubator about 10 feet away from me I cry, then I dry heave. They start putting me back together, dry heave. They wheel me into recovery, dry heave. (Again, had I had the wisdom I now have, I would have DEMANDED the anistologist give me anti-nausea medication. Let me tell you by the time I got to Katie's birth, not a dry heave to be found. Drugs are a wonderful thing.)

As I am sitting in recovering, I am still dry heaving of course, and they ask if I want to hold my baby...."NO. Give her to her father!" I feel like I have been run over by a 10 ton truck. I can't stop dry heaving, and the last thing I want to do is hold what caused this problem to begin with. At this point Rick is a bit concerned about my bonding with the baby.....and probably justifiably so....

Finally about two hours after she was born I was ready to hold her. By this time she has become acquainted with Rick, Grandpa Hales, Grandma Hales and Ciarran, but still has not yet met her mother. It was time. I held her as they wheeled me from recovery to my room, still dry heaving of course. It was late, I sent her to the nursery for the night. I might have gotten some sleep if those dang nurses had not been interrupting my R.E.M. every 20 minutes with blood pressure and temperature checks. Finally about 5:00 a.m. Rick yelled at the nurses to leave me alone. Got three good hours of sleep. I was ready to face the world, and check out my child.

She was gorgeous. Full head of dark hair, Rick's dimples, and a cute button nose. Best part, she liked me, even though I had dissed her the night before.

Now 10 years later she still likes me. Gone is the dark hair, its of course blond, the dimples still exist, and I think she still has a cute button nose. She is graceful, elegant, and had exceeded every expectation I ever had. In one word she is a delight, and it is delightful to be her mother.

I often tell her that she will NEVER understand how I feel about her until she has her own baby. She looks at me like I am crazy, because she doesn't get it, nor do I expect her to get it. One day she will get it, and hopefully I am right there by her side, reminding her that each day is a gift, even if you are dry heaving.....