The Third Child

It must be tough to be a third child. I will never know, I was the oldest and received all the attention, praise and glory. By the time my parents got to my sisters Arianne and Ciarran, who are children number three and four respectively, there was nothing left, I had sucked it all out. They are still bitter about this. Well as Katie’s first birthday approached I set out to find her a present. Now keep in mind Katie has divorced all her current toys, and is seeking only to play with Mark’s toys, Lauren’s toys, or anything she can pull out of a cupboard, drawer, or the refrigerator. As I cruised the isles at Toys R Us in search of the perfect birthday present, nothing was jumping out at me saying “I’m perfect” for your one year old daughter. They were either toys with noise, which I oppose on moral grounds, toys that were completely boring, toys that had no purpose, or toys we already owned or owned a version quiet similar.

I begin to ponder, would it really be that bad to not purchase a birthday present for Katie? She is only one, she will never know. I began to fantasize that I could place baby toys in front of her, stage it with a little wrapping paper, take a picture and she will grow up believing she was showered with gifts. It would save me money, save me having to wrap anything, and save me a useless toy that she would never play with. Could I really get away with it, would Lauren nark me off when Katie was older? (The answer to that question is obvious, Lauren is a first born, it is her job to right injustice.)

Then I rounded the corner of the isle and saw it, a plastic shopping cart. I was perfect. Just last Sunday I saw Katie pushing a box on the floor walking behind it. Oh the fun she would have with a cart, and she could put stuff in it to boot. I purchased my cart, and set off to home to wrap and enjoy the bewilderment on my child face as she tried to figure out what to do with a wrapped present on her first birthday. Lucky for her she has two older siblings who are well versed in birthday presents to guide her along, which is why it is good to be a third child.