Officer 3178

Last Thursday was a crazy morning. Lauren had to be to school by 8:50 a.m., Mark had to be to pre-school by 8:55 a.m. and I had to be at the church by 9:00 a.m. for our tour of the Humanitarian Center, which Katie was accompanying me on. We marched out the door at 8:45 a.m. and I was feeling quite proud of myself for getting all three kids bathed, dressed and fed, plus myself looking socially acceptable, and the kids buckled securely in the car at our scheduled departure time. I had even remembered Lauren’s homework, Mark’s homework, Katie’s bottle and diaper, and the directions to the Humanitarian Center. Plus a diet coke to boot. I proceeded cautiously down the hill, because the Provo Police Department likes to prey upon unsuspecting mothers in a panic to get their children to school. (How do I know this? I have been their unwilling victim.) As I rounded the corner on the hill I saw the familiar police car parked waiting for a victim. Never fear I would not be their victim today. Lauren successful dropped off at school, check. I proceeded from the school down Canyon road, the road perpendicular to where I had seen the police officer, who by the way was still fishing for unsuspecting mothers. A short distance from the school was a lighted school crosswalk. The cross walk was being manned by a Provo City Parking officer, however a Provo City Police officer was parked right next to the parking officer. I slowed cautiously through the school zone, to well below the posted limit of 2o mph. I would not be a victim today. Down Canyon road I traveled for about a quarter of a mile until I turned on the residential street leading to Mark’s pre-school. As I approached Mark’s pre-school, I happened to glance in my rear view mirror and saw the oh so familiar flash of red and blue lights. I stopped two houses away from Mark’s preschool. What in the world had I done? I knew I was not speeding, there was no one in the cross walk when I entered it, I had used my turn signal, why was I being harassed?

Officer 3178 approached my car and asked if I knew why he stopped me. Years of prosecuting has lead me to know that in any given traffic stop these are the first words out of the officer’s mouth. I said “I have no idea.” He asked me if I knew my registration was expired. Now technically I knew it was expired, but I decided to play the dumb blonde card, and said “no.” I felt no guilt about this because my registration was only expired by FIVE weeks, 38 days to be exact. I don’t consider, and neither should any reasonable law enforcement officer consider, a registration to be expired until it hits the 60 day mark. Furthermore if said reasonable law enforcement officer is going to stop a vehicle for an expired registration within 60 days after its expiration it should result in a warning, not a citation. Apparently the Provo City and I do not see eye to eye on this unwritten rule. Officer 3178 then says to me “Well your husband probably didn’t realize it was expired and re-new it for you.” Now I had several choices in how to respond to this comment, I could

1. Continue to play the dumb blonde card

2. Tell the officer that I was incredibly insulted that he would assume I was not capable of renewing my own registration.

3. Start screaming and yelling that he was a fascist, sexist, pig who needed to go track down real criminals and quit preying on mothers who are driving the speed limit, stopping at cross walks, secure their children safely in vehicles and simply did not have time to re-new a registration, because have you seen my to do list for the last 38 days? Talk to me on June 1, when it has been 60 days, then I will see what I can do about it.

I opted for #1. Going to jail for obstruction of justice just had not been penciled in for the day. I continued to sit in my car, while he sat in his. I assumed that he was probably checking my license, etc, and would be back with a warning. Meanwhile EVERY parent who has a child that attends Mark’s pre-school drove by, and stared wide-eyed at the still flashing lights Officer 3178's car, wondering what heinous act I had done to receive his wrath. I wanted to get out of my car and yell as they were dropping off their children “I am not a criminal, I am not a traffic violator, my registration is expired, and he won’t cut me a break.” After suffering the humiliation of EVERY parent seeing me at the hands of Officer 3178, he returned with a ticket, and informed me I had 14 days to re-new the registration on my vehicle if I wanted the ticket dismissed, plus once I got the registration renewed I had to go to the courthouse and show my renewed registration in order to get the ticket dismissed. I could not believe it. I really wanted to say to him “Are you kidding, you are giving me a ticket for a registration that is expired by 38 days! Then you want me to correct it in the next 14 days and make a trip to the courthouse? Have you seen what my May calendar looks like? Are you sure we can’t talk about this in June? “ Instead I opted for “Thank you, I will take care of this.”

NOTE TO SELF: Add emissions test, safety inspection, registration renewal, and trip to court house on to do list in the next 14 days. Remove sleep from said list.