Ssssssssssssss........

That sound you hear is the sound of air escaping from my head. I was quite blonde last week. The last time I was this blonde was the years 1990-1994, which comprised the three years of law school and the first year out of law school. During that time period I managed to have four car accidents, all of which were rear end accidents, where I rear ended another car. The accidents were a symbolic commentary on my life at that time. Well now you can chalk that up to five rear end accidents. I will let you be the judge of whether or not my latest accident is a symbolic commentary on my life.

On Tuesday I was driving home from work in my 7 month old new car. Lets just say it is black and German made. If I gave you any more details it would prejudice you against any sympathy for me. I was driving down I-15 around 53rd South. I was in the fast lane because of course I am in my black. German made car. Next to me on the right is one of those trucks that carries new cars to car dealerships. It was full of Toyotas. On the truck was a Toyota Sequoia, with the new body style. I was quite intrigued because last year we had a Toyota Sequoia which we got rid of to get the black German made car. Rick loved the Sequoia but I was never really a fan because it was too big for me. What caught my attention about the new style was that it seemed smaller. While my attention was drawn to the distracting new cars next to me, the cars moving in front of me, ceased moving. I looked up and when I realized what was occurring I immediately slammed on my breaks with an “Oh ****” and seriously questioned if I was going to stop in time to avoid colliding with the small SUV in front of me. Bad news: Did not stop in time to avoid contact with small SUV. Good news: It was a minor bump, such that there was no damage to the car in front of me, in fact he did not even stop or pull over. My black, German made car, not so lucky. The hood of my car slid under the spare tire of the small SUV, leaving a dent in my hood. I was crushed, emotionally and physically. I LOVE my black, German made car more than any other car I have ever owned. Plus it was an anniversary present from Rick for 10 years of marriage.

The chink in my armor.

Now here is the tricky part, I have not exactly told Rick about unfortunate new chink in the armor of my black, German made car. Interesting enough it just didn’t seem to come up in conversation. So I am taking suggestions about how to break the news. Here is a list of options:

1. Not tell him, and explain my cars absence when it gets fixed as scheduled maintenance.
2. Let him read it on the blog. (This would tell me how often he reads our blog!)
3. Put a note in his lunch box.
4. During a dinner time conversation say “I wrecked my car, and can you pass the Ketchup?”
5. Send him either an email or text message.
6. Cry hysterically and beg for forgiveness.

Please feel free to comment and add any suggestion to my list!

For the Love of Mommy.

This is a picture of Mark’s blanket, or as he likes to call it his “wittle blanky.” Once upon a time there was down feathers inside this blanket, but years of love and many washings have resulted in few feathers left, and it is mostly two pieces of fabric, with lots of dog hair from being drug around the house. Mark has slept with this blanket since he was born, with the exception of last night. In honor of Mother’s Day Mark decided that I should sleep with his blanket. He carefully placed it in my bed and said “Mommy you sleep with my blanket tonight.” The next morning he crawled into my bed to determine if I had actually followed through on my promise to sleep with his blanket. He happily found his blanket and declared “Mommy my blanket smell just like you.” Now I don’t know if that is good, but apparently to my four year old son it is delightful.

Finally I can’t complete a Sunday post without including what occurred at church today. In Sacrament meeting today the Primary children sang a medley of Mother’s Day songs. Mark was front and center with Lauren standing right next to him. While the children were gathering, he was placing his finger to his lips saying “Shhhhhh…..” then he announced “Shhhh…, listen to the teacher.” His shushing of the children continued on, quite loudly I might add, all through the song medley, despite Lauren’s efforts to remove his finger from the front of his mouth and quiet him down. Not a word of the song was uttered from his mouth, but lots of “Shhhhhhing” was. I was sitting about 2/3 of the way back in the chapel and could clearly hear him. After Sacrament was over I had more than one person comment on Mark’s conduct. I explained he is the third counselor in Primary responsible for reverence. He takes his job seriously.

My Mothers Day Craft.

I decided to be crafty for Mothers Day this year, and make gifts for Linda and Loretta. Truth be told I needed a craft project because its been too long since I have gotten to work on a fun project. I bought these 8x8 folded chip boards from Oriental Trading Company. As you can see the first photo is the before, and the remaining photographs are the after.

One side is Spring, and the other side is Fall. I used picture corners so the pictures could be interchangeable.

They sit very nicely on top of a mantel or entertainment center. They turned out so cute I am going to have to make one for myself.

Here are some up close pictures of the individual sections.

Don't you wish you got to open this on Mothers Day!

I've been adopted.

Jake and I have a mutual understanding, we tolerate each other. I am accommodating to him and he tries not be too annoying to me. Linda is truly is first love, followed by Jeff, Matt & Courtney, who all happen to be in Arizona for the weekend. Now they have left him in our care before, however this time is different. Jake has decided to adopt me. I think he figures with the amount of time Linda has been gone that perhaps she is not returning, and he had better make peace with me. I feel so honored. He is treating me just like Linda. When it is “happy hotdog” time I get no mercy until he is fed. He begs for treats and jumps with delight when the treat is forthcoming. In and out, in and out, all day long. I have however trained Mark to assume the duty of letting Jake in and out. Jake follows me around the house and sleep just outside my bedroom. He probably would like an invite in, and he would really like an invite to sleep on the bed, however I am afraid I have not developed the unconditional love for Jake that Linda has for him. But a few more days of being adored by him because I am taking care of him might just do the trick.

Oww it hurts!

Mark has learned the skinned knees when your four years old hurt as much as skinned knees when your three years old.

But Sesame Street Bandaids solve all that ails.

There was much sadness in the land.

There was much sadness on the Island of Sodor today, for today Mark was not named honorary conductor of Thomas the Tank Engine. Did I not convey my sons’ love of Thomas. Do you know any child more obsessed with Thomas than my son? The winners did not even have poems. I did make a contingency plan should Mark not be selected, I told him the prize for the contest was to ride on a big Thomas train, because regardless of whether or not we won, we were planning on purchasing tickets. So Mark thinks he won, I am bitter.

The Island of Sodor

On another Mark note: I know that many of you enjoy the long running series I have on this blog of writing about what Mark says, because lets face it, the things that come out of his mouth leave me at a loss for words.

Here is what he said on Thursday:

He came home from pre-school and I asked him what he did at school. He responded “I made you a card.” I asked if it was for pre-school graduation and he told me it was for Mother’s Day. I asked if he was going to give me the card now or wait until Sunday. He said he would give it to me Sunday and told me “It’s a really big responsible job.”

Later in the afternoon Grandpa and Courtney left for Arizona to bring Linda and Matt home. I told Mark that Grandpa was going to bring Grandma home. He asked “Will I wake up tomorrow and find Grandma combing her hair.” I said “Not exactly, it’s going to be several days.” He misses Grandma.

Finally in the evening, he took a plastic container and dumped his cup of water into the container. I asked Mark what he was doing and was told “I got a container full of water. I’ll take it outside and it will evaporate into the clouds.” This coming from the kid who can’t hold a pencil correctly, let alone color in the lines.

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

For our May Enrichment we decided to focus on service, with the theme being "Service at home and Abroad." Since Enrichment is only held quarterly now, whenever we plan an Enrichment, we plan several smaller activities that go along with the theme. Additionally which ever member of the presidency is teaching that month teaches on the theme. (It happened to be my turn, so I cheated and did a small introduction and then showed two church videos, one on the welfare system, and one on the humanitarian center. I feel kind of guilty because my lesson was so easy, but they were videos the sisters had not seen and everyone was crying at the end, they were really good videos)

One of our smaller activities was going to the Humanitarian Center for a tour. On Thursday morning we met at the church and carpooled up to SLC for our scheduled tour. Sister Missionaries greeted us and conducted our tour.

If you have ever wondered where all the clothing goes that you donate to the DI, well I can tell you. About 12% is kept by the local DI that you donate it to, the remaining 88% is bundled into 1000 pound bundles and sent to the Humanitarian Center in SLC. The picture show the 1000 bundles. Once it reaches the Humanitarian Center is is sorted. A worker sorts one bundle at a time. The worker is surrounded by large plastic trash cans with wheels, and sorts the clothing into the trashcans. The worker first looks for quality, and anything is is torn, soiled, or missing buttons etc, is discarded. But not really discarded, it is put in a rag pile and sold to rag brokers, who then in turn sell the clothing to companies who make rugs and other materials. The money the Humanitarian Center receives from selling the rags is used to purchase wool blankets that are then distributed in areas where disasters have occurred.

Once the clothing is determined to be of good quality it is then sorted by male, female, adult, and child, and put into 100 pound bundles for easier distribution.

These are the modules that go out to orphanages or medical supplies for disaster relief. They contain all the necessities such as diapers, clothing, toys, blankets or bandages, syringes, medical tape, gauze etc, that individuals in those circumstances would need.

This is the volunteer room where volunteers can quilt, assemble school kits, personal hygiene kits, or newborn kits. When we were there they had about 10 quilts set up on frames and the volunteers, including men, were tying quilts. On a personal note, I think when I am in a different stage of life being a volunteer at the humanitarian center would be AWESOME. These ladies were having a ton of fun!

This is our invitation for our Enrichment next week. The picture is of my Relief Society President. It is a post card that we put in everyone mail boxes. I have a super talented Enrichment Committee member who made this. We are going to quilt 4 quilts to be given to the Humanitarian Center, and make 25 fleece blankets that we are going to give to the police department for officers to keep in their cars and give to children in crisis.

I've Been Tagged!

A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.B: Each player answers the questions about themselvesC: At the end of the post, the player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was 30 and Rick and I had been married for nine months, doing things that we now don’t get to do because we have THREE children! Hummm…that’s probably what caused the three children. We were living in Nampa, or more preciously I was living in Nampa and Rick was commuting there on the weekends from Utah. I was throwing the thugs of Nampa in jail.

2. What was on my to-do list for today?
Go to Provo humanitarian center to pick up fabric for quilts for RS Enrichment next week. Go pick up batting and yarn for quilts at fabric store. Purchase short sleeve t- shirts for Lauren for summer. Deliver invitations for Enrichment. Deliver fabric, batting, and yarn to sisters who signed up to help with quilt preparation. BLOG. Fix dinner. Review last draft of legal decisions from yesterday’s board. Do a preliminary review of next week’s Board cases. Take Lauren to piano. Watch Good Things Utah to see if Mark is a qualifier for the Thomas contest. Call stove guy to see if he is ever going to fix my cook-top. Vacuum rug under kitchen table, because odd things stick to my feet when I walk on it. Look at map to determine how to get to SLC humanitarian center for tour with RS tomorrow. Remind Lauren to do her homework. Fix lunch for Lauren & Rick for Thursday.

3. What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire?
Hire myself a wife/personal assistant/cook/housekeeper. Purchase the horrible house across the street with a great view, tear down the house and build a new one in its place for Jeff & Linda. Move into house with Jeff & Linda while my house gets remodeled, specifically, the kitchen, all bathrooms, laundry room, electrical system, and plumbing. Of course new paint and carpet. Let Rick build the cabin of his dreams. Set up trust funds for family members, start a non-profit charitable foundation.

4. 3 Bad habits...
-Getting on my kids about messes, instead of enjoying and playing with them.
-Eating way too much sugar and not exercising enough
- Not reading my scriptures

5. Places I have lived.....
Nampa, ID, Washington DC, Provo, UT

6. Places I have worked...
Pioneer Seed Company, Safeway, Farmer Jacks, IGA, Senator Steve Symms, BYU, Idaho Labor Department, Hamilton Michaelson & Hilty, Utah Valley State College, Utah Department of Workforce Services, My Home.

7. 3 Things people don't know about me...
- I snore very loudly at times
-I want to learn to quilt when I am old.
-I love playing with Thomas trains nearly as much as Mark does. Making cool track is the greatest!

I would like to tag; Ciarran, Lindsey & Krista.

All was quiet on the family room front, I should have known…..

On Monday afternoon I put Katie down for a nap, and put PBS Kids on for Mark to watch while I was at the computer writing decisions for work. It was very quiet in the family room, but that did not seem too unusual because Thomas and Friends was on. When Thomas is on Mark is transfixed to the television. It is one of the few times, aside from sleep, that he is not in perpetual motion.

After about 45 minutes I went from the office to the family room. Now keep in mind its only about 12 feet from the office to the family room and I could hear the sound of Thomas the entire time I was working, least you think I was ignoring my child. When I entered the family room the first thing I noticed was the large jar of Jiff peanut butter on the coffee table. The second thing I noticed was peanut butter smeared all over my son. The third thing I heard was the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Upon closer inspection he has tried to wash the peanut butter off in the bathroom sink because the sink was covered in peanut butter. Fourth thing I noticed, peanut butter smeared all over the coffee table. I began the process of cleaning up Mark, and the entire peanut butter covered house.

Smeared peanut butter jar

You can see where little fingers have been placed into the jar to scoop out delicious peanut butter for consumption.

The Guilty Face.

Tanked economy = job security

I have one of those rare jobs where my job security is directly dependant on a lousy economy. When the economy goes south the unemployment rate goes up, and since I do appellate level unemployment cases, the higher the rate, the more cases I handle. When I first started at the Department in 2002, the women who previously held my job, was doing twenty cases a week and usually every month to six weeks she would do 30 in one week. I have enjoyed the strong economy over the course of the last 18 months averaging about 10 cases a week. This week, although I only have 10 cases, you can see by the girth of my binder they are LARGE cases. I get my cases every Tuesday and have one week to read through all the material and be prepared for our meeting the following Tuesday.

My binder measures 2 ¼ inches thick! And that is with double sided photocopies. I have had to use my time very judiciously this week in order to get through my case load. Don’t feel too sorry for me, they pay by the hour.

Orally Fixated

We are still enjoying the never ending game of "What does Katie have in her mouth?" Here are a few examples of recent finds. The top silver knobs are off of the drawers containing my scrapbooking material. Katie was most excited to discover the drawers this week and the fun contents, including stickers, paper punches, and ribbon. She really like unrolling ribbon and winding it around herself. This provided several minutes of entertainment.

The pink foil object is from a piece of Easter candy, which of course was fished out of the trash can. She secretly fished out this out and kept it in her mouth for about an hour while sucking on her pacifier. Grandpa discovered this object.

The blue skirt is from a Polly Pocket. Lauren had the Polly Pockets out on Saturday, and Katie thought the dolls and all their little pieces were great fun. I am actually surprised she did not end up with more of the pieces parts in her mouth.

The paperclip she found attached to a Thomas train. Mark likes to take paperclips and attach them to the magnets on his Thomas train. Try as I might to locate and remove all the paperclips he still manages to find paperclips and attach them to his trains, and then Katie finds them. I swear that Mark must have a secret stash of paperclips that I am unaware of.

The wooden knob was found on Thomas track. Katie pulled it off. And of course there is the the whirlly thing from a tree that got tracked inside the house for Katie to find and taste.

On note in the World of Mark today, after church he was sitting at the counter eating lunch. He had water in his cup and easy access to the sink from where he was sitting. Well water is an attractive nuisance and the next thing I knew Mark had spilled his water and was getting water from the faucet everywhere. I started to clean it up and Mark asked if I was happy. I told him I was not happy about having to clean up his mess. He then said "Mommy can I give you kisses?" How could I refuse an offer like that. After giving me kisses he said "Mommy are you happy now?'' Nothing like the fine art of manipulation from a four year old.

The Contest

Over Memorial Day weekend Heber Valley Railroad brings in Thomas the Tank Engine for rides and stories. Heber Valley Railroad in conjunction with a locally produced daytime talk show called Good Things Utah is offering a contest to be an honorary conductor of the Thomas the Tank Engine train. Well as you can imagine there is no little boy who has a love of Thomas more than Mark, so I knew I had to enter the contest because it would send him over the moon to get to be the conductor, shout “All aboard” and pull the train whistle.

The rules of the contest were quite simple, send a picture of your child, preferably dressed up as a conductor, along with a paragraph or two as to why your child should be selected, via email to Heber Valley Railroad. Starting on Monday May 5, through Thursday May 8, a qualifier will be announced on Good Things Utah. Out of those four qualifiers one will be chosen as the honorary conductor, and will appear on Good Things Utah on Friday to meet Sir Topham Hatt. Here is my photograph and entry, wish me luck!

All aboard!!!

At little boy of four I am,
I play with Thomas whenever I can.
In the morning the track I greet,
with shouts of joy, playing with Thomas can’t be beat.
By afternoon shunting has begun,
with freight cars giggling and having fun.
In the evening the action picks up steam,
with Sir Topham Hatt telling trains, “Don’t be mean.”
At bedtime a Thomas story is so keen,
so thoughts of Thomas I will dream.
- Mark Vincent

My son Mark plays with Thomas morning, noon and night.
Being chosen as a conductor would be really out of sight.
All aboard he would yell, while pulling on the whistling bell.
Wave and cheer to the crowd he would, he’d drive the train if he could.
Please pick Mark, it would make his day, his face would shine, just like a sun ray.
- Tiffany Vincent

Before & After

Friday night is Lauren’s stay up late night. What that means is that Lauren gets to stay up late with mommy and have girl bonding, which usually involves either a craft project, game or painting our nails. It always involves a bowl of cold cereal and the Disney channel. This week both Lauren and mommy were in need of a pedicure. We wanted our toes to look like spring, even though the weather is far from feeling spring like.

Lauren's toes before.

Lauren and mommy's toes after.

We are sooo ready for sandals, except for of course the pastie white legs!

Spray & Wash

Mark recently read on the internet about germs and discovered that in any home or office the item containing the most germs is the telephone. Mark, being a man of action, decided to take matters into his own hands and ensure that our telephones were germ free. After all we would not want anyone getting sick from those nasty phone germs. He began with the telephone in the laundry room/sewing room. He decided that a bottle of Spray & Wash would be good for cleaning the telephone. I went into the laundry room/sewing room to grab some paper for a Mother’s Day scrapbooking project I was working on, only to discover that Mark had sprayed about a ¼ of a bottle of Spray & Wash all over the telephone, telephone books, wall, and window blinds. He wanted to make sure all germs on the phone and surrounding the phone were eradicated. As you can see from the picture, the phone is dripping in Spray & Wash.

The first words out of his mouth when he saw me were “Sorry mommy.” Do you laugh or cry in a situation like this? He had a towel in his hand and was trying to clean up the mess. I told him it was ok, but he should not spray Spray & Wash on the telephone because it was only for clothes. The phone cleaned up nicely and looks sparkly clean, plus as an added bonus my laundry room/sewing room smells spring time fresh.

UPDATE: Telephone is completely freaking out. It mysteriously turns its self on, specifically the speaker part of the phone, until you hear the familiar beeping of a telephone off the hook. Finally I had to disconnect the telephone from the jack. So while my phone may be sparkling clean and smell good, it does not work.

Happy Birthday Mark!

Mark is Four! Its hard to believe its been 4 years since Mark was born. He had a rough start, spending a week in the NICU because he could not breath. Maybe that accounts for his deep smokers voice!

Mark had pre-school on his birthday. This year the teacher asked that no cupcakes be brought for birthdays, because I guess it was making too much of a mess. So the kids, or rather the parents, were instructed that if they wanted to bring something to share for birthdays, to do birthday bags. Mark and I went to the dollar store and picked out the toys and candy to put in his birthday bags to give to his friends. Mark and I put the bags together the day before his birthday, and he was so excited to pass them out to his friends.

All the goodies for Mark's birthday bags.

The completed bags!

Mark came home from school with a cute birthday crown. For his party at home I bought a Thomas table decoration. Mark played with it all afternoon.

Grandma and Grandpa bought Mark a Thomas blanket.

He LOVES the blanket. It might replace his other blanket!

Opening presents.

From mommy and daddy Mark got Thomas trains and track. I know big surprise, but it is what he wanted. The Island of Sodor, aka the office, has now grown, and the new trains are currently making introductions with the old trains, and the track is under construction, with new branch lines being added.

Arianne and Keith sent Mark a Thomas flashlight, that also whistles. Of course he thinks its the bomb. I expect to be seeing light in his room at night and hearing the train whistle.

Grandma and Grandpa Hales gave Mark a tent and sleeping bag to use in the back yard this summer. I don't know who is more excited about it, Mark or Lauren.

My Thomas loving son of course wanted a Thomas cake for his birthday. So I agreed. I found a train cake pan at the party store. It was not a Thomas train but I figured I could decorate it to look like Thomas and his coach Annie. The kids of course wanted to help. Lauren knew I would be decorating the cake in the afternoon after Mark got out of school. She begged me to check her out of school early so she could come home and help. In a moment of weakness I agreed. So at 1:00 p.m. I commenced the decorating of one Thomas cake. I began by making a large batch of white frosting, and putting a base coat of white frosting on the cake. Then I had to make the decorator bags out of parchment paper, and color the remaining white frosting. The kids loved putting the colors into the frosting. Mark was on my right side, Lauren was on my left. Katie was munching away on crackers in her highchair. Mark kept wanting to get really close to the cake. I was sure we were going to have a disaster, and frankly quite surprised we did not. About half way through the process Katie decided that she was tired to being in her highchair so I got her out. BIG MISTAKE. I had the trash can out so I could easily dispose of material, she of course sashayed herself over to the trash can, and promptly found the foil top of one of the food coloring bottles. The next thing I knew Katie was covered in brown food coloring, while at the same time Mark and Lauren were trying to steal licks of colored frosting. By the time I finished and cleaned up it was 3:30 p.m. Two and half hours to decorate a birthday cake.

You may be asking why I just did not purchase a cake at the bakery, and save myself the time and hassle. There is a simple reason, my mother. When I was growing up my mother would bake and decorate the cake of our choice for our birthday. I have wonderful memories of watching my mother decorate my cakes and being amazed at her ability to make this wonderful cake. I learned to decorate cakes by watching my mother. I wanted to create that same memory for Lauren, Mark and Katie.

Blowing out the candles. Mark had a great day.