New Rules

MEMORANDUM
To: Vincent Children
From: Mother, aka mommy, aka mom
Date: June 5, 2008
Re: Sick Time

In light of recent illness and the disruptive effect it had on our lives, effective immediately any and all sick time must be pre-scheduled. In order to accommodate you I will need at a minimum two weeks notice of any impending illness. Four weeks notice would be greatly appreciated and increase your chance of Dr. Mommy being ready for duty. Furthermore in order to assist you and ensure that the proper medical supplies and equipment are available please place all requests for sick time in writing and specifically outline your symptoms, and include any special dietary restrictions. Any bodily functions associated with your illness will need to be contained to bathroom areas, and pre-scheduled as well. Requests for bodily functions during the hours of midnight to 8:00 a.m. will be denied.

Additionally requests for sick time will not be granted if sick time is requested during the two days proceeding or two days postceeding any legal holiday, with the exception of Christmas, in which no sick time may be scheduled from December 7 through January 5.

Illness is defined as any fever, sore throat, vomiting, upset stomach, diarrhea, aches and pains, bleeding requiring stitches, and broken bones.

Please note the changes as they will go into effect immediately. Your cooperation in following these new rules will be greatly appreciated and significantly increase and improve the care you will receive when ill.

Your loving mommy.