I admit defeat.

The white flag is waiving over the top of my house. I admit it I am defeated. I used to have this fantasy that I should sleep at night. I was absent for Parenting 101 on the day sleep deprivation was discussed.

Sunday night/Monday morning:

11:00 p.m. Begin writing legal decisions for Board cases scheduled for Tuesday.

1:00 a.m. Too tired to write another word, in fact not really sure if last paragraph makes sense. Go to bed.

1:20 a.m. Just barely fell asleep, Katie wakes up crying. She is congested despite being given a healthy dose of Benadryl right before bed. I give her the rest of her bottle that she had not finished earlier.

1:40 a.m. Katie & mommy back in bed.

2:43 a.m. Katie is crying again. This time I get her up, suck her nose out, which of course results in her screaming bloody murder, and rock her back to sleep.

3:08 a.m. Katie & mommy back in bed.

4:45 a.m. Katie wakes up crying and congested. I again suck her nose out, with the result of screaming and waking up several members of the household. I feed her a bottle, and rock her back to sleep

5:04 a.m. Katie & mommy back in bed.

6:00 a.m. Mark decides it is time to get up and start the day. He comes bounding into my room with a “Hi mommy, can I watch cartoons in your bed!” At this point I am really groggy, and he can have anything he wants as long as I get sleep! I locate the remote, and, Mark agrees Sesame Street is a good choice. I now know why Sesame Street has a 6:00 a.m. showing, for kids like Mark who decided to start the day early and parents like me who don’t want to start the day.

7:00 a.m. alarm goes off I decided to sleep an extra half hour in hopes of being able to function on Monday.

7:31a.m. Get up and begin the day, realize someday when the kids are gone and I am lonely I will wish for sleepless nights where I get to rock my baby back to sleep and early mornings when I get to snuggle with my boy while watching Sesame Street.