I will kill this too.

My dear friend Iris Parrish Stout gave me this lovely palm plant to thank me for the tea party we had in honor of her 100th birthday. When she dropped the plant off (it was a year ago) to my house she informed me that the plant was guaranteed for a year. She patted at her purse and told me she had the receipt and to let her know if I had any problems because we could return the plant. I chuckled to myself and thanked Iris for being so kind.

After she left it struck me how optimistic she was that if something happened to the plant in the next 365 days that she would still be alive and kicking to resolve the issue, and trust me she would resolve the issue. I guess in order to live to me 100 you must have a lot of optimism about the future.

Then I thought about the plant and how optimistic Iris was that I would not kill the plant in the next 365 days. Clearly my reputation for being a plant killer has not managed to float down the street to her house. Many a plant my sweet visiting teachers have given me only to return 30 days later and discover that I killed the plant off in short order. Yet they keep giving me plants. I guess they are optimistic that eventually I will be able to successfully care for a plant.

I know keeping a plant alive is not a difficult task, it is simply adequate sunlight, water and fertilizer. With all the plants I have killed it is a wonder that People for the Ethical Treatment of Plants does not have me as public enemy number one. I blame my insufficient gardening skills on my house. I have very few places in my house that I can put a plant where it can receive the natural sunlight necessary to sustain life. Those places where a plant can be placed to obtain adequate sunlight are far removed from a water source, which results in me forgetting to water the plant. Hence the vicious cycle of attempting to keep a plant alive.

I looked at the beautiful palm and pondered its future. The plant was fresh from the nursery, brimming with life and beauty. Not a brown leaf to be found, and bright green leaves. Could I balance the necessary water and light in order to ensure its survival? What will become of my fate if I kill the plant off? I am sure the one year warranty on the plant has an exclusion for owner neglect. Given my past plant history, should or rather when, the plant meets its bitter end, I am not about to inform Iris of its fate. The only logical solution to this problem is to buy a new plant prior to any visit from Iris. It will be nursery fresh, and she will think I have the greenest thumb on the block.

UPDATE: It has been a year since the receipt of said plant, and yes it met its demise. I managed to take a scant four months to kill the plant off. Good news, Iris hasn't asked, and I am not talking....

Good Things Utah.

Although I love my chosen profession, of being a lawyer, and really love my current job of being a judge, I secretly have suppressed desires of being something different. As many of you know I LOVE fashion and clothes. (Blame my mother, its genetic) And in another life I would love to have a job in the fashion industry.

My idol in the fashion industry is Alicia Richmond. Alicia is a personal stylist, and works here is little old Salt Lake City. In addition to being a personal stylist, she speaks on fashion and dressing to flatter your figure, and she also has a gig on a local radio station and a locally produced daytime television program.

I met Alicia last year when I took a shopping trip to New York City. Alicia was our host for the trip and she took us to all the best places to shop.

Well recently Alicia was looking for models for a segment she was doing on plus sized clothing. Alicia asked me if I would like to model, and voila TV star. (Actually it hearkens back to my youth when my mother had me in all sorts of local modeling gigs, so you see I am a natural.)

The date with TV destiny was June 25, 2009, 10:00 a.m. The show, Good Things Utah. Here I am with another one of the models, they are filming us for a promo about the segment.

Here is Alicia describing my outfit for the television viewing audience.

Here are all of the gorgeous ladies I modeled with.

Finally, the hosts of the show. They were super NICE, pretty much just like you see on TV.

Now the question is, should I quit my day job? And if your passion becomes your job, does it cease to be your passion?

Fabulous Card Friday #3

Again more fabulous cards, to be made at my family reunion.

This card was made from scraps left over from a magnet bulletin board I made.

This care was made from scraps left over from my 2008 Mother's day project, and from a magnet board I made for Lauren's room.

Amazing.

Check out this photo of ME! I have the most amazing friend Carol and this morning she did my makeup because I was on a local TV show called Good Things Utah. (Yes, I will be blogging about that later...) Not only did she do an awesome job with my makeup, then she took a photo, and apparently her camera has some magical properties, not found in my camera, or any other camera that has ever taken a picture of me, because she managed to make me look REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD!

Solve one problem, create another...

Note the lovely bruise on my right cheek. Now you may be wondering how did I acquire such a fine specimen of damaged blood vessels. Did I run into a door, no. Did I get hit with a ball, no. Did I collide with Mark's extremely LARGE head, no. This is a result of Botox. Got a little Botox to smooth out a few wrinkles, walked away with a large bruise. I am thinking the wrinkles were not that bad....

Adventures in Fishing.

Every boy needs to go fishing with his Grandpa, its just part of growing up. Papa has been promising for several years to take Mark fishing, however the deal was Mark had to be potty trained before a fishing trip could occur. Mark finally mastered the potty last summer, however "master" was a relative term.....By this summer Mark can be considered and expert, hence the long awaited fishing trip.

The trip was more of a drive to a local pond stocked with LOTS of fish. After all Papa wanted him to have a good experience.

Grandpa and Mark, and a "caught" fish.

Mark has a "live" one on his pole!

On the hook, good news it was catch and release so Mommy did not have to deal with dead fish.

Mark caught about 12 fish, and thinks fishing is just fine. He is planning his next fishing trip with Papa, and has informed me that it will be a fly fishing trip and they will be getting into the water.

Speaking of getting in the water, before Mark left I gave him a specific instruction "not to get into the water." I told him no less than 3 times. Papa too reminded him SEVERAL time not to get in the water. Well what does Mark do? Of course he gets in the water. You can see from this picture he is standing just at the water's edge. Papa said it was "ok" but don't go any further. The cement that you see is moss covered about two feet into the water and then it abruptly drops off.

Well, when Papa had his head turned, Mark decided to venture on to the moss covered cement, and of course he slipped and found himself further into the water, with the water significantly over his head. Papa had to jump in and save Mark. Papa ended up in water up to his shoulders, lifting Mark out of the water while trying to get traction on the moss covered cement. Both came home soaking wet and cold.

When asked about the fishing trip Mark said the best part of fishing was catching fish and the worst part was getting rescued.

Note to self: When Mark and water are involved with each other, life vest is a must!

The Jumpy Thing

You can't get out the jumpy slide without also getting out the jumpy thing, which is actually a jumpy house. They loved this too.

Lauren, the "poser."

Everyone is in on the action.

Laughing, screaming, and a little crying.

But definitely a whole lot of FUN!

The Jumpy Slide.

It was a warm Saturday afternoon, before the recent monsoon hit, and the kids talked us into getting out the jumpy slide. They loved it.

Katie, in her young life had never experienced the jumpy slide, but of course with the guidance of her brother and sister, it did not take her long to figure it out.

We put the balls in it, for an added effect.

As you can see much fun was being had.

Lauren, decided she was not too old to have fun too.

Going down backwards, even better.

Fabulous Card Friday #2

More fabulous cards! If you want to make these fabulous cards, you MUST come to my craft activity at the family reunion.

This card was made from scraps left over from a 2008 Mother's day project where I made seasonal photo displays for Linda and Loretta.

This card was made from scraps left over from a bridal shower invitation.

Ice!

One of Rick's students is working at a local shack that sells shaved ice. He invited Rick to bring the kids down for a fun treat. Of course we had to "twist" the kids arms to get them to go.

It was "cherry" all around for everyone. FYI, the wild cherry flavor is soooooo much better than sweet cherry.

Mark, clueless as usual....but hey sugar was involved....

Chinese torture.

Forget Chinese water torture, as a form of punishment from our friends/enemies located in the far east. The new form of punishment for those of us living in this money grubbing, capitalist, democratic society, is Chinese packaging torture.

As a parent you go to the store full of anticipation as to what wonderful toy you can find for your child that will bring him/her hours of enjoyment, and maybe you as a parent a few minutes of peace. After careful consideration you select the toy, bring the toy home, wrap it either for a birthday or Christmas and wait with anticipated excitement to see the look of sheer joy on your child's face as they open this wonderful gift.

The gift is unwrapped, the joy abounds, and then the toy is promptly handed to you with the child saying "Mommy, mommy, mommy, (or daddy), please open this for me." Anxious to allow your child to play with his/ her wonderful new addition to a probably overflowing toy collection, you begin by attempting to remove the toy from the box.

Now generally the toy come packaged as to allow you to see all the pieces parts that come with the toy, so you have full disclosure of what exactly you are purchasing. Well there is the box that the toy comes in and inside that box is a separate box that all the pieces parts of the toy are attached to. The first order of business begins with attempting to separate the interior box from the exterior box. Usually they are connected by tape, and a lot of it. You must locate all places where tape is found and cut the tape connecting the two boxes.

Once the two boxes are separated then you begin to remove the individual pieces parts, which are generally hooked to the box with plastic coated wires that are twisted together. One must be a rocket scientist to first determine which way the ties are twisted, so as to not further twist the ties you are trying to untwist. Tie remove is long, tedious and just when you think you have every tie removed, you find another tie you missed. Meanwhile your child is slowly erupting or in the case of Mark is now at full blown eruption, because they want to play with the toy NOW and don't understand that the toy cannot be simply removed from the box.

This result in a dramatic increase in your blood pressure as you are working as fast as you can to free the toy, in order to calm your screaming child. The child's screaming impedes your ability to focus on the task at hand thereby further delaying the freeing of the toy.

Once the ties are moved generally you will then find these small clear elastic rubber band type things that also connect toys to the box or to other toy parts. Because they are small and clear, they are difficult to see, and you do not notice them until you try to remove a piece of the toy, only to be met with resistance. You must then locate all clear elastic rubber bands and cut them to free the toy.

Finally on some toys you will find a plastic "bubble" that overlays part of the toy with the edges glued to the cardboard package. This must be lifted to free the toy.

After no less than 20 minutes of untwisting, cutting and lifting, the toy with all its pieces parts is FREE. This is what you are left with:

The box showing the remnants of your hard and diligent labor.

And a huge pile of twist ties.

I have decided the manufactures in China have determined the best way to torture Americans, is to package all toys in such a manner that removal from the package is virtually impossible, leaving both parent and child ready to reveal any secret, just to have the toy free, and both needing a good stiff drink once the process is completed.

Flowers.

With the arrival of spring, it was necessary to plant a few flowers in my yard to brighten things up a bit.

Katie decided this needed to be a participatory activity, rather than a passive activity. She wrangled control of the wagon and refused to give it up. Only took out a few people and plants with her driving skills. (Note the flower bow in her hair, the pacifier in her mouth, and the determined look on her face, don't mess with this girl. )

Lauren had the other wagon.

Once home she demanded her own wagon to haul flowers. Daddy would unload the flowers, and Katie would deliver them to mommy.

Ironically enough no one was interested in helping me plant the flowers....

Pots on my deck.

I went with a purple and yellow theme on my deck. However the in week since I planted the flowers, the deer have decided they like the fixings at my house and have eaten the heads off many of my flowers. Grrrrr......

Finally, once flowers are delivered to mommy, a ride in the wagon by daddy is a must!

Yay, visitors!

Recently Ciarran and Colin came to visit. Well actually they came down for a baby blessing for Colin's brother's baby. No visit to Utah is complete without spending time with my adorable children. After being forced to bounce in the "jumpy things" that we have, milk shakes were in order. Ciarran wanted Colin to experience the Malt Shop, so off we went.

As you can see everyone is enjoying a tasty treat!

Some enjoy their treat more than others...

Look at those two cute faces! Lauren is seriously lucky to have wonderful aunts who spoil her silly!

And finally this is a man who enjoys his treats more than just about anyone else I know.

Fabulous Card Friday.

Today is the first installment of what I am calling "Fabulous Card Friday." Every Friday between now and the first part of August I will be previewing cards that we will be making at my family reunion in August.

I am in charge of the adult craft, so I decided to put my card making skills to use. Now the crafting ability of those in my extended family runs from very craft to not crafty at all. In order to accommodate the needs of all, I have put the cards together in kits with all the pieces parts measured and cut, so the card is ready to be assembled. So if you are a member of my family who feels as if you are "craft challenged" never fear, if you can use a glue stick and a bottle of Elmer's glue, you can make these cards.

One, final thought, the beauty of all the cards I have designed and the material I have assembled, I have not spent a dime, it has all come from scraps and paper I have had on hand. (That probably says a lot about the excess of scrapbooking material I have...) Its been fun to go through my scraps, and excess paper, clean it out, and put it to good use!

I have repented, kind of.....

Anyone who ever had any contact with my mother knew that sewing was her life, literally. I have many a fond memory as a child sitting her her sewing room watching her sew and just talking, watching TV, or bugging her. It was also in that same room that I learned to sew. Now learning to sew was not a "would you like to do this?" activity, it was a "you will do this" activity.

Because sewing was so important to my mother, when she was ill and questioning the length of her mortality, she made me promise that I would teach Arianne and Ciarran to sew. Well, what could I say??? Its not like you can tell a dying women, who entire life has been defined by this form of art, who wants to have her children follow in her footsteps, "no." So I gulped and said "yes."

However the years following my mother's death were not kind to my schedule. I was in graduate school, then a new lawyer, and single girl, and teaching my sisters to sew was not high on the priority list. Plus since they did not live with me, it had the added challenge of scheduling teenagers.....

Needless to say they did not learn how to sew from me. Now somewhere along the way Arianne managed to pick up that skill, I am sure I probably helped her here and there, plus she has a natural craft ability anyway. She is now quite skilled at sewing, as you can see from the cute aprons she made my kids. Ciarran, well that is another story. Lets just say she is a little craft challenged....

So for several years now I have feared the wrath of my mother on the other side of the veil, for not teaching my sisters how to sew. I figure I will be due a good "chewing" out to last 1000 years or so...

In order to pay penance for my prior sins, I have started to teach Lauren how to sew. I am hoping it will help commute my sentence with my mother....

Here is Lauren pinning her fabric together.

And here she is sitting at the sewing machine, ready to go.

I have to say I recall my frustration of the first time I sewed, and making the dang thing go straight. Kudos to Lauren, she must have gotten some added talent from my mother before traveling to planet earth, because she was actually quite good a sewing a straight line.

If I keep this up with her, I might actually be off the hook with my mother....

Skirts

Several blog posts ago I mentioned that my creativity was overflowing due to the demands of my day job. To demonstrate my creativity Lauren modeled a skirt I made her. Well at the time we picked out the fabric for that skirt we also picked out fabric for three more skirts. Its been a project we have worked on a little at a time, but now all the skirts are done, and Lauren's summer wardrobe is complete.

Brown skirt, with red trim, and a white flower with a red rhinestone.

This skirt is Lauren's favorite, its purple and although the picture does not show it, the fabric has small sparkles in it.

Finally, this is my favorite. I love the colors, I love the pattern, and love the bright pink flower.

The apron.

Just like Mark, Katie got an apron for her birthday, courtesy of aunt Arianne. She grabbed the pink princess spatula and is ready to attach the kitchen, probably my kitchen as opposed to hers.....

Pool Time.

What is it about three inches of water in an inflatable round pool that is so endlessly fascinating to a two year old? I don't know but it just is....

Last summer I bought Katie this little round pool with visions of sitting on the deck with her, enjoying my then baby, splash the day away. Didn't happen. I repented this summer. We have been having our pool time. I am currently unwilling to deal with the whole put her swim suit on routine, so I convinced her we just soak our feet in the pool and for now she is perfectly content.

She sits or stands on one side of the pool and I sit on the other, we splash, laugh, in in generally enjoy being two on a hot summer day. (Plus mommy gets a tan to boot!)

I am woman, hear me ROAR.

Memorial Day found me without a man around my house, unless you count Mark, and well as much as he likes to think he is a MAN, he still has a little ways to go. (Learning to pee standing up might be a start...) I wanted BURGERS, after all it was Memorial Day and if you are a red blooded American you eat a hamburger on Memorial Day.

So I had to tame the Beast.

Meet the Beast. Yes this is the grill that sits on our deck. If you don't have a "y" chromosome, its a little intimidating..., after all my idea of grilling is handing a plate of meat to whomever the closest male is over the age of 18, that is physically near me at the time, with the instruction to cook said meat. NEVER in my life have I ever used a grill, its just not my style.

First challenge, fire her up. Second challenge, don't get burned in the process... Success. At least I can say even though I have never used the dang thing, I have watched it in use, so I was not completely clueless, hence lessening my chances of getting burned in the process, or exploding the house.

Check out those burgers, complete with "grill" marks. You would think I had been doing this all my life.

The finished product. Now don't you wish you had joined me on Memorial Day?